Zzang: Archive – Poet at Heart

Poet at Heart contributed 2 poems to the November 28, 2000 edition of Zzang.

untitled

I talked to you a few days before,
You seemed so happy, so blithe.
We were laughing,
It was wonderful.

Then it happened.
I was on the phone with you.
I was talking while you were home by yourself.
You were crying to yourself.
You were counting out the pills on the table.
You were sharpening your knife.

I didn't notice.
I was wrapped up in my own pain to even notice yours.
I hung up the phone.
You hung up your life.

You didn't want to hurt anymore.
I don't blame you.
Now, at times,
I find myself on the side of the road,
The only person in my world.
You have always helped me with my pain.
Now you're not here.
I hurt even more since you left.
How can I get rid of this pain?

Should I do as you did,
Should I abdicate my life,
My soul to whoever will take it,
And can I come up and join you?
Are you happy now?
Even if you're not,
It's better than the hell down here,
Without you.

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The Lost Love

I knew you loved me,
Even before anyone had told me.
The way you looked into my eyes,
The way your hands felt,
The way you looked at me when you didn't think I noticed.

I felt it.
I felt it all.
I tried to show you that I loved you, too,
But you never noticed.
I can't believe you never knew,
Or you did and just not care?

If you had asked me out,
I would've given you the answer that we both wanted.

I would have made you happy.
You made me love life every time I was with you.

I longed for your embrace.
A small, quick hug
Lasted for hours in my mind.
A gentle brush of your hands to mine,
That's all I've been waiting for all my life.

You never gave me a chance.
After only two weeks of being apart,
You found another.
Another to brush hands with,
Another to hug,
Another to tease,
And another to love.
Another person to talk to,
And to laugh with.

I feel like crying,
But I can't.
I feel like despising you,
But I can't.
I feel like hating that other girl,
But I can't...
...I envy her.

I want only happiness for the both of you,
Because you deserve it.
I love you.
Be happy, always!
I'll find my way without you,
But always remember me as the one who cared for you,
as no one ever could!